Language Exchange with a Native Speaker? Good Luck

The whole language exchange thing is built on one ground: any native speaker, by definition, can teach non-natives of his mother tongue, particularly in spoken form.

The ground is shaky. From my experience, the rule of thumb is that you would be numbed before you found a good conversational partner to practice with. It’s mostly the game of luck. Let’s be realistic; even speaking in native language, a good conversational partner is in a short supply.

I knew I’m a pretty bad one. By all means, I’m no where near clinical egomaniac. But during a typical conversation, whenever someone said something—or anything—to me, I couldn’t wait till he finished before jumping in with “Yes, that reminds me when I…”. Then my big mouth wouldn’t shut up for next five minutes—ten minutes, if not the other guy was yawning. I take it as human nature; as the privileged species, we all love ourselves more than anyone else. True or not, thinking that way make me feel less guilty.

Every once a while, the other guy might get lucky. I was humble and not talking about Me Me Me in every other sentence. This was usually when I got carried away talking about things. And I do have a few hot spots, such as politics, to bake. It only worked well, however, if the other guy is also as nut as I am about politics. Otherwise, I was practically tone deaf; even he’s talking about his recent trip to Paris, I could easily turn it a political debate—starting with whether Sarkozy’s victory signaled the death of socialism once for all. I was sure that his fond memory of Eiffel Tower would be long gone before I launched into the bilateral relationship of the U.S. and France.

So, what is the odd to find someone who doesn’t fall in love with himself and who is actually curious about what you have to say? Less than the Socialist Party leader Royal moving into the Élysée Palace in her life time.

Am I too slow? Or are they too fast?

Recently I listened to some Spanish learning podcasts like Coffee Break Spanish. Well, on and off, anyways. These are podcasts that are at or slightly above my level.

What is a little disheartening for me is not the stuff that I haven’t learned and therefore don’t understand. It is the words and phrases that I have learned. Sometimes even over and over again.

It is also not that I can’t understand these words. The most frustrating part is I don’t seem to respond to what I heard, at least not immediately. I can’t grasp the meaning, right then and there. No matter how focused I tried to stay, my brain simply doesn’t function as fast as the host’s tongue.

I can’t recall having this problem when I learned English. With English, either I knew or I didn’t. I don’t remember getting caught between knowing something and not comprehending it quick enough.

Of course My English learning experience is nothing to brag about. Like many Chinese, I took English classes at schools starting from elementary school, all the way to college. So we can conclude I started at a young age and made gradual progress throughout a lengthy period of time.

How is learning Spanish NOW different from learning English THEN?

a) I am a few decades older

b) Spanish is a completely different animal from English

c) I am more eager to shorten the learning process

d) I have less time to spend on language learning every day

I could hide in the excuses a) and b), but the real answer might lie in the conflict between c) and d). Even the best pianist has to practice every day. What makes a beginning language learner think she can be different?