Who Else Has Time To Study English?

I dug out a piece of an old news, reported by the official China Daily. It shows that the zealous drive to study English for the Beijing's Olympics Games goes way beyond overworked taxi drivers in the capital city. As a further proof of the host city's hospitality to foreigners, an even more strategic important service profession is affected too. Here is an excerpt:

"China's capital Beijing plans to require attendants at its public toilets to speak basic English in a bid to improve the services provided to foreign visitors, state media said.

It is part of an ambitious campaign to raise the standards of public loos in the city of 13 million as it gets ready to welcome thousands of tourists for the 2008 Olympics, the Beijing Morning Post reported.

The paper did not specify the level of English toilet staff need to possess, but said they must in future also be proficient in sign language."

--China Daily, December 11, 2004.

No shit, I thought to myself. (My friend Bob always says "No shit" whenever I tell him something he never heard of.) Public toilet attendant? Sounds a lot less prestigious job than flight attendant. And what services do they provide exactly?

Okay. Never mind. I don't want to know anyway.

But I can't help think what lessons should be covered in their English training. I came up with a short list that's barely minimum:

Hello.

Welcome to Beijing.

Do you enjoy today's game?

May I help you?

No thanks. We don't take tips in China.

The next public toilet is five Hu Tong's away from this one.

Excuse me, sir (madam). Your fly is still open.

Hope you enjoy staying in Beijing. Goodbye.